Saturday morning I woke up checked my blood sugar-131-fixed myself some breakfast and checked my blood sugar again, 206. My breakfast was 47g of carbs. For me, that is 10.4 units of insulin. 9.4 units for my breakfast and 1 unit for my blood sugar. I used my bolus wizard, pressed act a few time and started eating. I felt my pump vibrate but I didn't bother to look at it because I assumed it was the vibration letting me know that my insulin was delivered and I should enjoy my meal.
This is not where the story ends.
I knew Saturday would be a busy day and I'm not a fan of temporary basals so I ate an additional 15g of carbs without bolusing (which would be 3 units of insulin) to make sure I stayed a bit on the high side at least for the morning. 12 o'clock rolled around and I tested. A big "YOU STUPID IDIOT! HOW COULD YOU LET YOURSELF GET SO HIGH" popped up on the screen. In other words, one touch said "Warning HIGH GLUCOSE. ABOVE 600". I washed my hands, checked again, and then, 598. I pressed escape on my pump to see what number my sensor was showing and I got hit with a "NO DELIVERY". At that point, I wanted to just go ahead and put on my dunce cap. Out of the 10.4 units that I was supposed to get for my breakfast, I got 0.75 units of that. That wasn't even enough insulin to cover the 204 blood sugar. Millions of questions ran through my head.
How did I do something so stupid? Why wouldn't I check to make sure it delivered? Why on earth did I eat 15 extra carbs with a 204 blood sugar? Why is diabetes a bitch? Why didn't I change my site Friday night? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Fast forward. I changed my site and battled with highs all day. By 7 pm I had a blood sugar of 99. I was golden. Until 8pm. I checked. 36. Please throw a brick at my head. Please do it. Right now. Please. But don't actually. That might hurt. Ugh.
I ate a snack and waited for my numbers to get back to at least 150. I set an alarm for 3 am and went to bed. I was exhausted. I couldn't fight diabetes anymore. I let it win last night. But today is Sunday. Its brighter day. I'm in control again.